My father thinks I don't talk to him, because I hate him. Honestly, I wish that was the case. I think him knowing how big a fuck up I am would break his heart, more than me not talking to him.
I work a dead end job, I go to a college I hate, studying for a career I no longer give a shit about, and I feel that claiming to be asexual may just be my way of coping with a hatred of getting close to others, a trait which extends beyond my love life, to my standard relationships with my friends, most of whom I actually dislike, but just don't feel like telling to piss off.
The question isn't if I'm a loser. The question is, how do I manage to be in a decent mood most of the time. The answer is simple. I just do not give a fuck anymore.
I vent to people I do not know personally via the internet, because as far as I am concerned anything I say to them does not matter. I post something here, worst case scenario, I get insulted, and maybe suspended. If I told my friends how I actually feel concerning my life, they would either insult me, as being an attention whore, or try to stage some kind of intervention, neither of which I want.