I believe with what you say that she was once crazy about you but it could have faded with your lack of presence and the fact that you have said in the past you could pass as a pimp, and also your doubtful negative thinking and you also saying you had loser acquaintances but only a handful of good friends, these things can put a person off a little or even hurt a person if their crazy about you
And I regret not seeing her more often. Even if it don't go anywhere, she is one of my favirote people to talk to. Hell, if she asks why I want to catch up, that would probally be what I would tell her, that I enjoy talking to her, and don't get to do it as often as I would like.
Most women don't like to be compared to other women or have to look over their shoulder at others when getting into a relationship and yet men think they think it's a turn on bc their popular maybe for silly pups but not an adult
Let's face it we can't be everything or evryone