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  1. feeling sick, dont know if its what i ate or something else, in the valley of deep shadow
    aaron whatever you do dont leave it too long, just ask her mate
  2. i notice your negative aaron i sometimes get very negative....when im like that everything i do that is positive or negative becomes negative and i cant breath and when its gone im left with the scars and hurt then when it returns it just esculates and destroy everything in its path then leaves again and im left on another level again searching for answers because the negative is very trivial and technical and whats worse is it has me thinking more than i should because of worry, its hell, it just doesnt just follow me but infects me, and changes my personality to a hard pressed bitter person and selfish because im trying to chear up and survive it, its no uninpenitrable shadow
  3. it is to the point that everything that makes me feel safe like authority...and powers i can no longer trust but am in danger with them even no trust in the lord, and then its get me believing i deserve this and am in danger because im cursed and there is no mercy, then when it leaves, i feel safer but the scar and doubt remains because im unstable and not at home with myself...and the pain i go through has me questioning when im well as to why im going through this and it isnt all that impossible hence im scarred
  4. and what is worse is my family dont understand and i have not been able to explain it to them to understand, hence this is the first time ive been able to tell someone properly with enough clarification hence why i need release and happiness and why i think about me all the time, searching for air, fresh air
  5. see i need closure too from this negativity
  6. anyway im tired so going to sleep now so goodnight
  7. Guess I'm gonna try again. Don't think she thinks I'm actually a sleaze (would be inconsistent with everything else she knows about me, plus my follow up attempt, and the fact that she still has me on Facebook), and all it can do is show I'm actually interested in her. Fuck, this is gonna suck.
  8. My work out buddy said I'm trying to overthink it, to justify not doing it to myself. He agreed with my logic that it sounds like my first attempt just done stupidly as an afterthought threw her off and/or she thought it was some kind of joke, that most likely she forgot about my follow up message, and that if she seriously disliked me, she would have tried to rush me through instead of having a decent conversation, that she actually seemed to take the lead in.
    He also says my attitude of not wanting to do it, because I think I'd fuck it up if she gave me a chance is setting myself up for failure.
  9. yeah true, just do us all a favour and ask her lol
  10. Can you honestly say it ain't creepy/desperate to try again, given how my initial attempt was botched, and what you know? No B.S. here. Be truthful. If you can honestly say it aint I'll try.
  11. no she will think you do care and are serious if you ask again, ''properly'' you can rest your mind at ease now, i told truth
    i woke up from dreaming feel better now and made myself a special drink back to normal again but tired of shit
  12. Then I guess I'll do it.
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U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.
U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.
U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.