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  1. Bottom line is I realize just how fucked up I am. I have been trying to get help, why else would I see a shrink of my own free will? I'm pretty stubborn, and set in my ways though. I do not like following advice. I know I should take the advice people give me. Why ask, if I ain't gonna take it? I've been screwed over by advice though, to the point, where my first instinct is that I am being lied to, and that they're trying to set me up. That's where I am.
  2. Also I find the implication I am self centered hilarious. Anyone who actually knows me, would tell you, I actually spend more time worrying about other people, than I do about myself.

    I let myself get to this point. I should have got help before now, but I chose not to. I've been pretty much in a downward spiral a little under a year.

    No matter how hard I try, I end up overthinking everything. I let things that happened to me months, if not years ago, influence my current life to a heavy degree, even when the situations are nothing alike, and I let my worst qualities define how I see myself.

    You cant realize just how hard it is to get professional help, until you have done it.

    You can call me an asshole if you want. You can accuse me of ignoring advice I know I should take. I will not argue with either. Never say I do not have legit issues though. Hell, in about 20 pages, I managed to document the slippage of my own mental state, going from moderately insecure, to straight up distraught, due to my inability to let past events go, and my inability to see any good qualities in myself.
  3. Got a call a few hours ago from my godmother.
    My godfather has just passed away due to his suffering from Parkinson. He was in a bad state lately and spent the last week in hospital in agony as the doctors wouldnt accept his personal written decision to be let go when his end came. Damn German laws. His wife, my godmother, faught for him to be let go in peace, in the end she took him home. With the beautiful place only he could see then, a broad smile spread over his face and then he left for good.
    Burial to be next week. He became 71.
    He -obvviously - accompanied me all my life. He was relieved now but he will be so dearly missed. RIP
    I dont like this year so far.
  4. That sucks. Parkinsons is not a good way to go.
  5. Oh and not posting this for sympathies or sth. Just had to let it out. Another loved one gone. Lets enjoy life and seize the day. That's all.
  6. That's right. Bad desease, this one.keeps you suffering over years nobody deserves this *sigh *
  7. Originally posted by MacStripey:Got a call a few hours ago from my godmother.
    My godfather has just passed away due to his suffering from Parkinson. He was in a bad state lately and spent the last week in hospital in agony as the doctors wouldnt accept his personal written decision to be let go when his end came. Damn German laws. His wife, my godmother, faught for him to be let go in peace, in the end she took him home. With the beautiful place only he could see then, a broad smile spread over his face and then he left for good.
    Burial to be next week. He became 71.
    He -obvviously - accompanied me all my life. He was relieved now but he will be so dearly missed. RIP
    I dont like this year so far.
    My dear, I'm terribly sorry to hear that But I'm very glad that your granma finally could take him home so he could spend his last moments there ♥

    I lost my beloved grandmother 7 months back and I still miss her each and every day, so I know how you feel now. Walk on ♥
  8. Originally posted by MacStripey:Got a call a few hours ago from my godmother.
    My godfather has just passed away due to his suffering from Parkinson. He was in a bad state lately and spent the last week in hospital in agony as the doctors wouldnt accept his personal written decision to be let go when his end came. Damn German laws. His wife, my godmother, faught for him to be let go in peace, in the end she took him home. With the beautiful place only he could see then, a broad smile spread over his face and then he left for good.
    Burial to be next week. He became 71.
    He -obvviously - accompanied me all my life. He was relieved now but he will be so dearly missed. RIP
    I dont like this year so far.
    so sorry for your loss, but i hope you have many dear memories of him, you have my sympathies..
    btw im glad your going to a few shows this year i hope you can be stress free and really have a ball of a time you deserve it

    aaron if you want to and if you mean it an apology doesnt go astray ??
  9. Yes, I'm sorry. Still don't think you where right, but there was no need to be such a dick on my part.
  10. Thanks everyone for your nice words,much appreciated *hugs * :-)

    btw we need a hug smiley in the just updated smiley edition! ;-)
  11. I'm so sorry, stripey. cannot believe the ignorant german paperwork crap sometimes... keep remembering the good times and memories and he shall live on with you you know I'm not religious but this I believe. /hugs
  12. double post, thanks to my phone..
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U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.
U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.