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  1. tell me a joke
  2. Originally posted by stj0691tell me a joke


    um.. ok, Missouri was declared the most obese state in the U.S. When Misouri found this info, they deep fried it, and ate it
  3. Originally posted by stj0691tell me a joke


    What is Politics?
    Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?
    Father: Sure, son. What's the question?
    Son: What is politics?
    Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me “Tony Blair.” Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her “Gordon Brown.” We take care of your needs, so we'll call you “the People.” We'll call the maid “the Working Class,” and your baby brother we can call “the Future.” Do you understand, son?
    Son: I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it.

    That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.
    Son: Dad, now I think I understand what politics is.
    Father: Good, son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?
    Son: Well, dad, while Tony Blair is screwing the Working Class, Gordon Brown is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.
  4. brb
  5. Originally posted by stj0691tell me a joke

    Only in America

    1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

    3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

    5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

    7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

    10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


  6. Originally posted by stj0691brb


    ok
  7. Genie and the Taliban

    Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
    "I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.
    The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
    With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
    Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."
    Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
    "Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
    The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."
    Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."
  8. back, those are so funny

    i have one:

    there are 3 tomatoes. one is the daddy, one is the mommy, and one is the son. they are all walking. the dad was walking faster than the son, so he turned around, accidently stepped on his son, and said "catch up".
  9. Originally posted by stj0691back, those are so funny

    i have one:

    there are 3 tomatoes. one is the daddy, one is the mommy, and one is the son. they are all walking. the dad was walking faster than the son, so he turned around, accidently stepped on his son, and said "catch up".


    um... lol

    anything new sence our last chat?
  10. my birthday was yesterday! steve gave a really nice necklace, its gold and has 3 diamonds in it.
  11. Originally posted by stj0691my birthday was yesterday! steve gave a really nice necklace, its gold and has 3 diamonds in it.


    Mine is on Tuesday! Wow! He told me about a necklace, but nothing about it being gold, and having 3 diamonds...... I'm assuming you like it lol
  12. hey nick, what do think about me?
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Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.
Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.
Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.