Originally posted by drewhiggins:[image]
![[image]](http://www.gilesorr.com/nucleusblog/media/1/20051020-RonaldMcDonaldThai.jpg){kind=link}
If I were a little kid, this clown would freak me out!
Originally posted by drewhiggins:[image]
Watch for the right hook at 1:13. Beautifuul viewing . . .
Originally posted by molang7:all the single babies....
[YouTube Video]
A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and
head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the
corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear
collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the
mountainside.
Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the
other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs. That was
the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear charging
at him from a distance, and he couldn't move.
"Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping
services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me
and grant me just one wish . . . please make a Christian out
of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!"
That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its
knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud
right at the preacher's feet. "Dear God, bless this food I
am about to receive . . ."
---------
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't
seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've
stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just
cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the
bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist
and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are friars!"
---------
P.S.
The tart appraisals come courtesy of Pop Emile
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
2. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
3. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
4. "He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them."
5. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
6. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
7. "This employee should go far and the sooner he starts the better."
8. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
9. "Got a full 6-pack, but without the plastic thing to hold it all together."
10. "He's been working with glue too much."
11. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
12. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
13. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
14. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
15. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
16. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
17. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
18. "Has two brain cells: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
19. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
20. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
21. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
22. "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm."
23. "One neuron short of a synapse."
24. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
25. "Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
26. "A room temperature IQ."
27. "He's so dense, light bends around him."
28. "Bright as Alaska in December."
29. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
30. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
31. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
32. "A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
33. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
Originally posted by drewhiggins:[image]
