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  1. I made a post in my personal blog last night for my friends outside the u2start family, and I thought I'd put it in here as well, as a kind of "update". just because

    ~~

    today I was outside for the first time since I returned home. The one trip to the doctor's office last week not included.

    Things are going very slow for me. Concentration is difficult to find, when I go online I mis-type things on the keyboard. When i read the daily newspaper, I need a break after only a few minutes. But that is also because my right eye is almost blind since the surgery. Hopes are the optical nerve will recover within the upcoming months, but only time will tell.
    So there.

    I'm bound to lie on the couch most of the time. I must take things slow. No activity that will have my blood pressure rise at all. The surgery was done through my nose into my brain, so there has been created a hole. that needs to heal for 4-6 weeks at the least. No sneezing (go figure), no bending down at all, no sudden adrenaline rush (read: no watching U2, seriously. tried once and got dizzy instantly, fake!romantic incident). I must not bang my head against anything because of that healing hole, so since I see nothing on the right side, I'm creeping along the walls in here with my hands preventing me from bumping into doorframes etc.

    The physical part is another topic. They took me down to zero with that surgery, so I'm starting all new. No motoric problems, God bless I'm alright there. But the simple act of walking from the living room to the kitchen, get my cup of tea and return to the couch leaves me drenched in sweat. Starting anew. Training every day. So today I was outside in the crispy spring air for the first time, on the patio. I sat down on the stone steps and enjoyed the warm sun for a few minutes. I never ever really felt it that way. A gift, the gift of life. All has changed. A ray of sunlight is worth so much now.

    My mind is beginning to bring up the images, the scenes, the memories, the feelings, the scares, the horror of the whole experience now. The past two nights I lay awake in my bed upstairs, and everything has been coming back. The fear, the smells in hospital, the feeling of being utterly helpless while strangers tore things in and out of my body, everything.... the man who awfully died next to me during the endless night on intensive care. Everything. Maybe that is the way the human mind works. I need to face all this now, I feel I have to. I need to talk about it or write it down, somehow. The fear was immense and it still is, A powerful chapter of my life. No thanks to the one who is writing my story- you could have left this one out.

    Whatever I'm trying to say. I guess I just need to type things down now as they come. Only 19 days ago it all happened. Still a long way to go. in 3 weeks the first check-ups of my eyesight and hormone levels (blood pressure etc included) will come up. A first MRI of my brain 3 months after surgery, so in the first week of June. This one will tell if I'll be good or not. They couldn't take out all of the tumour, as it's wound around some arteriae the surgeons didn't dare to touch. In June I will know more. I'm planning to get as good until then as possible. And only after the MRI I will dare to start and make new plans with my life, depending on what the results then will be.

    Life is so precious. I thought I'd already known that. But only now do I know

    ~~


  3. That's what it's like. When life throws you an immense curveball, it puts the reality of living into a powerful perspective.
  4. The gift of life

    There's nothing I can say that you don't know already (there's nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard), so I just give you the best of my smiles

    Lots of love.

  5. Hang on there!! You'll be fine soon...All the best during your recovery
  6. I'm very impressed with the way you describe your thoughts Kirsten. Very straightforward, down to earth yet very emotional. Walk on!
  7. Progress is progress m'dear, thoughts are with you always. Stay strong sending love your way.
  8. Kirsten, it was amazing read your words. I've had a mix of feeling inside of me, but the way you described your life is just amazing and deep.

    Hope you get well soon. Also hope you keep believing in you and in your strength, friend!

    I'll keep send good vibrations to you!

    Greetings from Brazil

  9. Originally posted by MacStripey:I made a post in my personal blog last night for my friends outside the u2start family, and I thought I'd put it in here as well, as a kind of "update". just because

    ~~

    today I was outside for the first time since I returned home. The one trip to the doctor's office last week not included.

    Things are going very slow for me. Concentration is difficult to find, when I go online I mis-type things on the keyboard. When i read the daily newspaper, I need a break after only a few minutes. But that is also because my right eye is almost blind since the surgery. Hopes are the optical nerve will recover within the upcoming months, but only time will tell.
    So there.

    I'm bound to lie on the couch most of the time. I must take things slow. No activity that will have my blood pressure rise at all. The surgery was done through my nose into my brain, so there has been created a hole. that needs to heal for 4-6 weeks at the least. No sneezing (go figure), no bending down at all, no sudden adrenaline rush (read: no watching U2, seriously. tried once and got dizzy instantly, fake!romantic incident). I must not bang my head against anything because of that healing hole, so since I see nothing on the right side, I'm creeping along the walls in here with my hands preventing me from bumping into doorframes etc.

    The physical part is another topic. They took me down to zero with that surgery, so I'm starting all new. No motoric problems, God bless I'm alright there. But the simple act of walking from the living room to the kitchen, get my cup of tea and return to the couch leaves me drenched in sweat. Starting anew. Training every day. So today I was outside in the crispy spring air for the first time, on the patio. I sat down on the stone steps and enjoyed the warm sun for a few minutes. I never ever really felt it that way. A gift, the gift of life. All has changed. A ray of sunlight is worth so much now.

    My mind is beginning to bring up the images, the scenes, the memories, the feelings, the scares, the horror of the whole experience now. The past two nights I lay awake in my bed upstairs, and everything has been coming back. The fear, the smells in hospital, the feeling of being utterly helpless while strangers tore things in and out of my body, everything.... the man who awfully died next to me during the endless night on intensive care. Everything. Maybe that is the way the human mind works. I need to face all this now, I feel I have to. I need to talk about it or write it down, somehow. The fear was immense and it still is, A powerful chapter of my life. No thanks to the one who is writing my story- you could have left this one out.

    Whatever I'm trying to say. I guess I just need to type things down now as they come. Only 19 days ago it all happened. Still a long way to go. in 3 weeks the first check-ups of my eyesight and hormone levels (blood pressure etc included) will come up. A first MRI of my brain 3 months after surgery, so in the first week of June. This one will tell if I'll be good or not. They couldn't take out all of the tumour, as it's wound around some arteriae the surgeons didn't dare to touch. In June I will know more. I'm planning to get as good until then as possible. And only after the MRI I will dare to start and make new plans with my life, depending on what the results then will be.

    Life is so precious. I thought I'd already known that. But only now do I know

    ~~


    Thanks for posting this Kirsten. Lots of love, I keep crossing my fingers!
  10. You're an incredibly strong person coming out only weeks after the operation and decribing it. Such a story would give alot of people hope
  11. O my, just reading this topic. To be honest, I hardly look in this part of the forum, but so sorry I just notice this only now (ashamed)

    Liebe Kirsten, dut mir leit das ich es nicht fruher gesehen habe, aber froh zu sehen das es dir wieder ein bischen besser geht (schritt fur schritt) und hoffe allles gute. Mach ein bischen ruhe am anfang(muss auch warscheinlich), deine pferde wirden warten auf dir. Lange fahren nach konzerte durch Europa, aber diesem fahrt nach krankenhaus musste schon der langste gewesen sein. Machs gut und liebe gruesse aus Holland.

    So I tried in my best German to wish her a speedy recovery xxxx


  12. +1
    a bit late, but I'm very glad the surgery went well. Wish you a very speedy recovery Kirsten! xx
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Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.
Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.