The guys said it best. Just terrible and idiotic...I hope that you hear better news tomorrow and that whatever it takes, this thing is dealt with the right way once and for all so that you can have your life back, hopefully with lots of money from the lawsuit
Bloody hell. That's absolutely shocking. You truly do NOT deserve all this grief. Hope they get their arses in gear, act quickly and rectify the mistakes as soon as possible.
We're all rooting for you, K - you will get through this x
You'll never walk alone Kirsten. It's sad to hear such bad news, but I believe bad things happen to us for some reason...maybe we have t grow up, maybe we have to get stronger, maybe we have to be an exemplo...Honestly, I can't imagine why you have to face such things, but find your reason and never give up my dear friend! We will always be with you!
the things as facts as they come to my mind right now:
- first, I need to finish the third round of antibiotics against the infection the hospital staff placed on my head. Come Tuesday I will stop taking the pills. If the infection will not return within 2 weeks, I'm fine in that regard. If it will return, they will cut open my skull, take the infected bone part out and leave my head open for 4-6 months befoire they implant a titan plate where my bone has been. That is no option for me to think about right now, so I won't go further into this. All will go well after the antibiotics will have stopped. Bloody hospital staff, I say.
- as a matter of fact, the professor (who did the first surgery and did it perfectly) was not present at my second surgery as we had agreed on. The surgeon who then did my case stopped the surgery after 8 hours, deciding it too complicated inside my brain to continue.
- I now saw my MRI scans. I had expected the tumor to be nearly back to the size it was after the first surgery. It is in fact as big as it was before they did the second surgery. The volume is smaller now, but the size is still the same. Too complicated in location to be taken out. Thank you.
- The tumor qbviously has grown to the back and lower/central part of my brain. Surrounded by main blood arteriae now. Idiot. Let me quote the professor: "A beasty thing, let's face it." For some reason, these words of him are replayed inside my mind now every night I lie awake and ponder about it all.
- in mid-October a new MRI scan is set.
if the tumor has again grown by then, I'll be f***ed, in all ways. Immediate surgery and expectin the tumor to have changed from a "good" to a "bad" one and that's it.
- if it has not grown again until the next MRI, the next step will be radiation on the tumor so it will be stopped in growth to make me win time.
- anytime it will grow again or will cause physical effects on my body, immediate surgery is due again. The professor says he can once again go through the nose like during the first surgery, and maybe once from behind and below the right ear to get to the central lower part which is the dangerous part of the whole thing.
- imagine the 360 stage. You stand on Adam`s side. Bono is facing the crowd to the left side. Take this as example of my head now. Bono is my eyes. Behind him, the main tumor is situated. Now after surgery one, the tumor has grown and went down to say hello to the techs, Dallas, Sam, and while spreading a bit towards Adam`s side as well, it also turned towards Larry and underneath his drum kit. Now after the surgery, the volume has decreseaed, but it's still there, behind Bono and underneath the stage, waiting for anything new to happen. That is my situation. Minus good Irish music, of course.
- as for my left eye, this is just grand. Two professors told me the chances that this main eye muscle gets completley cut through (like in my case) and not just partly (as in many other cases) comes down to only 2, maybe 3 cases a year in their hospital. Well, congrats to me. My ability to do my profession (any profession) is gone. Completely gone. At my age, I feel priviliged.
is that all for now? I think so. Many many things to face now, too many thoughts and fears for me to cope with. Trying to get it all settled now and face the upcoming weeks. First, the infection needs to be gone and stay gone, and then no growth of the evil thing by the next MRI. If I'd like alcohol I'd open a Drunk Thread just for myself.
Get my Irishman and become a wife and mother for living the life I'd always dreamt ofd before? Wished I'd done that when the time was there, but as always put things off "for later". Seize the day while it's still there, really. Sigh. Off now. You wake up again, finished my monologue of boredom
x 
