BLU
Active topics
  1. I can think of thousands of things I hate about myself, and none I like. My shrink says that's a really big part of it.
  2. I apologise to everyone for even ENGAGING with this self centred, egocentric whiner in any way, I'm bowing out of this now, and probably the entire site in general.
  3. You should see the amount of shrink the Tesco I work in go through, no wonder most of the managers are hitting high levels of depression. I suppose they feel your pain
  4. Must be nice to go through life with no fucking issues. I realize how fucked up I am. Finding out the girl you have been crazy about for years, seems to be at least somewhat interested, should not warrant the result, of calling your best friend, who was trying to gauge the girls interest a fucking bitch, and telling them to go to hell, and that you never want to talk to them again, then ending up curled up in the fetal position on my bed, trying not to throw up, hyperventilating, telling myself, she should not be interested, she should be trying to get a restraining order.
  5. That's what I was doing last Tuesday night. Every time I tried lying to myself just made it worse, because I suck at lying to myself.
  6. Bottom line is I realize just how fucked up I am. I have been trying to get help, why else would I see a shrink of my own free will? I'm pretty stubborn, and set in my ways though. I do not like following advice. I know I should take the advice people give me. Why ask, if I ain't gonna take it? I've been screwed over by advice though, to the point, where my first instinct is that I am being lied to, and that they're trying to set me up. That's where I am.
  7. Also I find the implication I am self centered hilarious. Anyone who actually knows me, would tell you, I actually spend more time worrying about other people, than I do about myself.

    I let myself get to this point. I should have got help before now, but I chose not to. I've been pretty much in a downward spiral a little under a year.

    No matter how hard I try, I end up overthinking everything. I let things that happened to me months, if not years ago, influence my current life to a heavy degree, even when the situations are nothing alike, and I let my worst qualities define how I see myself.

    You cant realize just how hard it is to get professional help, until you have done it.

    You can call me an asshole if you want. You can accuse me of ignoring advice I know I should take. I will not argue with either. Never say I do not have legit issues though. Hell, in about 20 pages, I managed to document the slippage of my own mental state, going from moderately insecure, to straight up distraught, due to my inability to let past events go, and my inability to see any good qualities in myself.
  8. Got a call a few hours ago from my godmother.
    My godfather has just passed away due to his suffering from Parkinson. He was in a bad state lately and spent the last week in hospital in agony as the doctors wouldnt accept his personal written decision to be let go when his end came. Damn German laws. His wife, my godmother, faught for him to be let go in peace, in the end she took him home. With the beautiful place only he could see then, a broad smile spread over his face and then he left for good.
    Burial to be next week. He became 71.
    He -obvviously - accompanied me all my life. He was relieved now but he will be so dearly missed. RIP
    I dont like this year so far.
  9. That sucks. Parkinsons is not a good way to go.
  10. Oh and not posting this for sympathies or sth. Just had to let it out. Another loved one gone. Lets enjoy life and seize the day. That's all.
  11. That's right. Bad desease, this one.keeps you suffering over years nobody deserves this *sigh *
  12. Originally posted by MacStripey:Got a call a few hours ago from my godmother.
    My godfather has just passed away due to his suffering from Parkinson. He was in a bad state lately and spent the last week in hospital in agony as the doctors wouldnt accept his personal written decision to be let go when his end came. Damn German laws. His wife, my godmother, faught for him to be let go in peace, in the end she took him home. With the beautiful place only he could see then, a broad smile spread over his face and then he left for good.
    Burial to be next week. He became 71.
    He -obvviously - accompanied me all my life. He was relieved now but he will be so dearly missed. RIP
    I dont like this year so far.
    My dear, I'm terribly sorry to hear that But I'm very glad that your granma finally could take him home so he could spend his last moments there ♥

    I lost my beloved grandmother 7 months back and I still miss her each and every day, so I know how you feel now. Walk on ♥
U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.
U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.
U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.
U2start is run by fans for fans. Help us reduce personal costs. Consider to make a donation to support us.