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  1. A snake is riding a bicycle. A frog stops him and says: "Snake, you can't ride a bicycle, you don't have legs!"
    Snake answers: "Hmm, you're right," takes the bicycle on his shoulders and goes home.
  2. Two policmen in helicopter: "What's the name of that thing that is above us?"
    "A ventilator."
    "How do you know?"
    "Because when it stopped turning, the pilot started to sweat."
  3. Originally posted by yuri31A snake is riding a bicycle. A frog stops him and says: "Snake, you can't ride a bicycle, you don't have legs!"
    Snake answers: "Hmm, you're right," takes the bicycle on his shoulders and goes home.


    Hahaha!!! Classic!
  4. One day a Taiwanese man walked into a pub and saw Spielberg, he was very excited and went up straight to Spielberg for his autograph. Spielberg saw him coming and gave him a slap, saying, "Get out of my sight, u japanese bombed our pearl harbour and killed many of our comrades!" Bewildered, the Taiwanese man retorted: "I'm not a japanese,i'm a taiwanese!" Spielberg then said, "Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, they're all the same!"

    Fired up, the Taiwanese man gave Spielberg a slap saying, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship!" Spielberg retorted, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship!" The Taiwanese responded saying, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, they're all the same!"
  6. a very very good one for all of my friends!!!! since this January 29th it's my 26th birhday!! please have a laugh with me and have a beer in my name!!
    cheers to you all!!!!


    The 2007 Darwin Awards

    Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.


    Here is the glorious winner:



    1.
    When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.



    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2.
    The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3.
    A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4.
    After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5.
    An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6.
    A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

    7.
    Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8.
    As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'

    9.
    The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

    10.
    When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
  8. double post, sorry
  9. Originally posted by JohnnyVOXX
    7.
    Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.



    First of all, great post!

    Second...you mean something like this (posted by Nate a couple pages ago):

  10. Anybody need a laugh? Watch these vids.








  11. Originally posted by Ali709[..]

    First of all, great post!

    Second...you mean something like this (posted by Nate a couple pages ago):
    [YouTube Video]



    thanks! glad you liked it!!
    and yes that's the vid I believe!!
    cheers!!
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