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  1. Originally posted by yuri31Dunno if I have already posted it....

    A man and a woman are making love when the women suddenly asks:
    "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
    "No, I don't," the man answers. "Why are you asking?"
    "Oh, I was afraid I will get it again."

    People, you would be dead laughing if I could translate all those great Slovak and Czech jokes (If I could, yes, I would, If I could, I would...POST THEM)...my English is really poor I don't get English jokes..they are not funny for me. Like:

    -What's brown and sticky?
    -A stick.

    Where's the humour? Can English people even laugh?


    Actually.....both of those jokes are terribly unfunny.
  2. What's a bird flu?
    McDonald's revenge to KFC for BSE.

  3. You should definitely try and check out U2 on the Late Night with Conan O'Brien show. Hilarious. Conan turned over the whole 1 hr show just for U2 during the Vertigo Tour. As for now, all I could find is a link. It doesn't have a video, worth listening to. This website left out the best part of the whole gig, but I am working hard to trying to find it. Can anyone help me out?


    http://u2exit.com/Conan.shtml
  4. Best video ever. Grand Theft Mario.

  5. enjoy:

    A woman checks out the guests at a party and spots an attractive man standing alone. She approaches him.

    "Hi, my name is Carmen," she tells him.

    "That's a beautiful name," he says. "Is it a family name?"

    "No," she replies "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men. What's your name?"

    "Markus Titsenbeer..."
  7. Happy Valentine's for everyone!!!
    enjoy:

    If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down

    when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first

    date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.



    Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first

    date that a woman ever had.



    The winner described her worst first date experience. There was

    absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!



    She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had

    taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.



    It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and

    truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively

    uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.



    They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to

    realize that she should not have had that extra latte.



    They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the

    middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which

    she did for a while.



    Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a

    point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside

    the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.



    They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her

    pants down and started.



    In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt

    rest against the rear fender to steady herself.



    Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and

    indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could

    think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing

    nature of the situation.

    Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation.



    As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her

    buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.





    Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she

    attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

    It was quickly apparent that

    she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.





    Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she

    answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a

    reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some

    assistance!



    He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater

    and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out

    laughing.



    She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose

    themselves, they assessed her dilemma.



    Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced

    with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free

    her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.



    Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first

    place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her

    free.



    So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to

    unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience

    screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or

    perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date

    was embarrassing.



    Jay Leno's comment...

    "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."



    Oh, and how did the first date turn out?



    He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.


  8. A couple of Will Ferrell clips for all the lovers out there on Valentines Day:


    Jackie Moon


    George W. Bush
  9. Originally posted by JohnnyVOXXHappy Valentine's for everyone!!!
    enjoy:

    If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down

    when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first

    date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.



    Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first

    date that a woman ever had.



    The winner described her worst first date experience. There was

    absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!



    She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had

    taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.



    It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and

    truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively

    uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.



    They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to

    realize that she should not have had that extra latte.



    They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the

    middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which

    she did for a while.



    Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a

    point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside

    the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.



    They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her

    pants down and started.



    In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt

    rest against the rear fender to steady herself.



    Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and

    indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could

    think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing

    nature of the situation.

    Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation.



    As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her

    buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.





    Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she

    attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

    It was quickly apparent that

    she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.





    Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she

    answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a

    reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some

    assistance!



    He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater

    and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out

    laughing.



    She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose

    themselves, they assessed her dilemma.



    Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced

    with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free

    her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.



    Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first

    place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her

    free.



    So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to

    unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience

    screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or

    perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date

    was embarrassing.



    Jay Leno's comment...

    "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."



    Oh, and how did the first date turn out?



    He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.





    HAHAHAHAHA! Thank God he became her husband! So embarassing!
  10. Originally posted by haytrainA couple of Will Ferrell clips for all the lovers out there on Valentines Day:

    [YouTube Video]
    Jackie Moon

    [YouTube Video]
    George W. Bush


    "You don't want to smell like a turlte cage!"
  11. Some funny Indy vid:
  12. MWSAH and AlbecauseofU2
    amazing posts!!
    very funny!!
Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.
Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.
Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.
Contribute to the U2 community with uploading photos or by telling us which shows you have visited.