U2start.com | General Chat 16

What's horrible about it? She clearly trusts you like you said. This gives her the opportunity to text you if she needs you, and if she does even just to say hello, the voila. You have her number.

Don't jump right to whether or not she's someone whos an "object of your affection" before you can consider whether or not you can still be friends with her. One step at a time.

wtshnnfb01

13 years

I like thinking in one term or another. Do I like her? Yes. Do I consider helping her with her issues more important? Yes.

She ain't the one with trust issues. I am.

I've only ever chatted with her over facebook once. Lasted bout all of 30 seconds. Intresting thing, I realized, is that well she has never commented on anything I have posted on my wall (mostly I post things to try to annoy people) I ocasionally respond to things she post, and evidently she keeps track of my responses, as she once brought up one of them like a month after I posted it.

I'll meet you halfway. I'll send her a message. If she gets back to me, and seems happy with me being willing to listen, I'll give her my number.

Full disclosure: I have my cell off 95% of the time.

If I message her, it will probally be in a day or two. I have stuff to do at this time.

MattG

13 years

Its your life man, whatever works for you works for you. Just wanted to offer my two cents. I think your plan is a good one, meeting halfway.

It's really the most you can do for her while still trying to remain somewhat objective.

wtshnnfb01

13 years

Its kind of personal for me. I've suffered from depression in the past, and I had no one to help me out. Basicly what happened, was I was in a bar, and had an epiphany, that I had reached rock bottom, and that if I didn't get my shit together, I was going to die, get thrown in jail, or a mental hospital if I didn't do something. That was a little over a year ago. Also almost a year to the day, before I ran into the girl in question for the first time in three years, which incidently was almost to the day since the last time I had seen her.

I just feel this is some kind of sign I should give her the kind of help that I didn't have.

Me getting into religion, fate, signs, etc. Now shits getting weird.

Thankfully, I don't think she is anywhere near the level of depression I was at. Hers seems more stressed based than anything(mine was because no matter what I did I could not escape my past). Hopefully, she can figure out her issues, and get her life back on track.

Also if you have never had any kind of depression, count your blessings, its the worst feeling in the whole fucking world.

wtshnnfb01

13 years

I'm predisposed to not trusting people who are predisposed to trusting people.

iTim

13 years

You need to message her on Facebook. I don't know what she's said to you regarding why she is down, but you need to use that as the base for your message. Ask her how she is and be sure to show you remember what she said. "I was just thinking about you and wondered how you are. You didn't seem to be yourself least time we met." Or something like that, put into Aaron words.

Try and draw her to reveal some details about why she is taking time off college. If she says that she is depressed, tell her that you know how she feels from your own past experiences. You don't have to open up to her about it, after all, she needs support, not you. Once she has given you enough to want to help her, message her back saying that you are there if she needs to talk. Include your number, so that if she wants to, she can call you. Also, let her know that although she is taking time off college, you're still available to meet up with her if she wants. If she likes you, she will contact you.

Obviously we don't want to give you advice on how to win over a romantic partner by taking advantage of her health issues. Just show that you care about her. If that brings you closer as friends, great. If she starts to fall for you, great. It's unlikely that she will distance herself from you because you're concerned for her.

You may be the escape she needs right now. Be there for her.

wtshnnfb01

13 years

I've been working on drafts of a first message. So far I have,

"In regards to your stress issues, I've suffered from depression, and anxiety in the past. I know its not the same, but if you need someone to chat with, I'm available."

Any thoughts? I feel this sounds too stiff. At the same time mental health is not something to be taken lightly. Whats a good balancing point?

On an intresting note, even if she turns down the offer, I have a hard time picturing her being anything other than happy someone cares. I think I'm more scared if she says yes than no, because I know that even if we try to keep it about her issues, eventually mine will come up, and thats a dark road I do not want to go down at this time.

RattleandHum1988

13 years

I'd say switch "available" for either "here" or "here for you" and you've got yourself a winner.

As for going down your own past, it may be a road necessary to go down in the interest of you showing enough trust in her that she'll feel comfortable talking about it with you.

wtshnnfb01

13 years

I was thinking maybe I'll listen would be a good way to phrase it. Also I think in regards to should be replaced with about.

I know I might have to bring them up, and honestly shes someone I can picture myself opening up to about my issues, but I just thought that if it did happen it would be latter. Guess its true how they say the past sneaks up on you.

Course I have to find out about this my worst week of the year as far as mental function goes.(the time change ruins my brain for a week.)

I seriously doubt anything bad will come from me sending a message, but what I have to decide is if its worth the chance of having to bring up my own issues. In contrast to her, which just seems to be a case of the stress of college catching up to her, I have some deep dark scary shit in my closet, and I don't go in there without a floodlight, a shotgun, and a SWAT team on standby.

Like I said, I'll likely send a message tomorrow. When and if she gets back to me I don't know. She don't use Facebook much these days, but odds are she gets updates sent to her email, and I vaguely recall her being the type that checks that regular. If nothing else I'll be making an effort.

KieranU2

13 years

In all honesty, I would've taken out "In regards" because it makes it sounds as if you are writing a letter to your council.

What Tim suggested to say is pretty much what I would say so I would base it around that.

Best of luck. Everyone else has given the best advice that tops anything I could possibly give.

clover68

13 years

there's been a lotta talk(/think) about this ~~next song~~....maybe maybe too much talk
while maybe someone else is doing facts ...
(impression)

do not waste too much time thinking and rethinking and re-re....

LikeASong

13 years

Originally posted by clover68:there's been a lotta talk(/think) about this ~~next song~~....maybe maybe too much talk
while maybe someone else is doing facts ...
(impression)

do not waste too much time thinking and rethinking and re-re....

+1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1

Good morning / afternoon / evening / night for you all

It's raining cats and dogs over here and I'm happy that I went out for a walk and got soaked and got back home and had a hot shower and aaaaahhh

General Chat 16

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