1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed
and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may
ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model
and only when it's free.
10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed
to kick another guy in the "groin".
11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
14: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink
as much as the other sports watchers.
15: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
but not both, that's just greedy.
16: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she is withholding connubium pending your response.
17: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her
to drive yours.
18: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green,
orange or sky blue.
19: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?'
with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360.
End of story.
20: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
I hope this clears up any confusion.
