Originally posted by EyesWithPrideB3Olof- I like it very, very much!
ONE solitary songwriting tip:
And your lifejusta giant play?
Replace the "just" with a slight, slight pause- I feel like perhaps it would flow better. Takes it from less conversational to more metaphorical which i think is what you're going for in that line.
Untitled December Project
Every day,
With every red flag he threw
Found a new way to remember you
When it came to blows
Between what I'd dreamt and what we both know
You let me down when I least begged you to
Please, come back
This time I swear I put it all on track
This is me for the last time
Wondering when I should have realized
(Chorus)
And so I'm asking you
To take blame for what I've put myself through
[Now that there's nothing more to say]
I guess I should thank you
For giving me reason to forget you
It was never between us anyway
-
I've begun, to recognize
What waits behind those nicotine eyes
On the days the sky goes grey
And if there were stars on the ceiling
I'd have laid awake and wished this feeling
Would go away
-
Please, come down
I swear this time I turned it all around
This is me for the last time
Wondering when I should have realized
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
Do you remember where it all began?
I could go there
Find another you in the same chair
Cross another bridge that leads to nowhere
So now I'm left here
With the last idea that hasn't disappeared
And I'm feeling fine
Here's to the times
We toast to the rest of our lives
I hope I never have to wish you were in mine
-
Please, stay gone
I swear I won't remember long
For the last time, it's me
Admitting how it would always be
(Chorus)