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  1. To bump this thread, here's an unfinished lyric, which means it gets progressively worse, but I like some things:

    Paranoia

    Do you feel someone behind you?
    Or are there eyes all around you?
    That itching feeling at the back of your neck
    There's a battle raging for control

    Paranoia
    Give me some more
    Paranoia
    Look out, behind you!

    Do you have the feeling that everyone's an actor?
    And your life just a giant play?
    They're talking behind your back
    Is it just a rehearsal today?

    Paranoia
    Give me some more wonderful
    Paranoia
    Watch your back!

    Dress up like a normal
    They're always watching you
    Don't forget the roots
    Paranoia's all around you

    Do you ever the sounds inside your hand?
    Is it them talking or another danger lurking?
    It can happen anywhere
    There's no place to hide from the powers watching
  2. some nice work there Olof
  3. This might have been round your head while writing your song...

  4. Haha, actually just after I'd written it I thought that it could be a nice Muse song.
  5. Olof- I like it very, very much!

    ONE solitary songwriting tip:

    And your life just a giant play?

    Replace the "just" with a slight, slight pause- I feel like perhaps it would flow better. Takes it from less conversational to more metaphorical which i think is what you're going for in that line.
  6. Originally posted by EyesWithPrideB3Olof- I like it very, very much!

    ONE solitary songwriting tip:

    And your life just a giant play?

    Replace the "just" with a slight, slight pause- I feel like perhaps it would flow better. Takes it from less conversational to more metaphorical which i think is what you're going for in that line.


    Thank you Matt! Hmm, you may be correct about that... I think I'll change it Thanks!
  7. Always here to help, lord knows in the last few years you guys have always been here for my songs as well!
  8. Welp, here we go.


    Untitled December Project

    Every day,
    With every red flag he threw
    Found a new way to remember you
    When it came to blows
    Between what I'd dreamt and what we both know
    You let me down when I least begged you to

    Please, come back
    This time I swear I put it all on track
    This is me for the last time
    Wondering when I should have realized

    (Chorus)
    And so I'm asking you
    To take blame for what I've put myself through
    [Now that there's nothing more to say]
    I guess I should thank you
    For giving me reason to forget you
    It was never between us anyway

    -
    I've begun, to recognize
    What waits behind those nicotine eyes
    On the days the sky goes grey
    And if there were stars on the ceiling
    I'd have laid awake and wished this feeling
    Would go away
    -
    Please, come down
    I swear this time I turned it all around
    This is me for the last time
    Wondering when I should have realized

    (Chorus)

    (Bridge)
    Do you remember where it all began?
    I could go there
    Find another you in the same chair
    Cross another bridge that leads to nowhere

    So now I'm left here
    With the last idea that hasn't disappeared
    And I'm feeling fine
    Here's to the times
    We toast to the rest of our lives
    I hope I never have to wish you were in mine
    -
    Please, stay gone
    I swear I won't remember long
    For the last time, it's me
    Admitting how it would always be
    (Chorus)


    I wrote the song about something completely random, spur of the moment-type feeling I had about something somebody did to me, and it turned into this. I showed it to a friend, however, and she seemed pretty affected by the lyrics. She told me later she had a friend she was very close to, and had a great deal of feelings for, died at an extremely young age last summer before she had the chance to tell him. She felt that this song hit very close to home for her, so I can't help but keep her in mind every time I sing/play it lately.

    The vocals on the SoundCloud track are 9th take vocals, so I'm going to blame anything wrong with them on that
    http://soundcloud.com/mgignac2/untitled-december-project
  9. Shameless bump
  10. Congratulations to a very nice song Matt! It really is very good.

    If I'm going to come up with anything that could add to the song, I think a guitar solo really could. Maybe a Love Is Blindness-esque one. Maybe a little bit more "action" in the vocals too... but not too much, that would hurt the song.

    Excellent job!
  11. Thanks! The other guitarist/principal songwriter in my band suggested the same thing. I hope that if I can bring it to the full band setting, where we can build it up a little better, a guitar solo will seem more natural and really top the song off.

    Also thanks for the Facebook promotion
  12. I don't think the song should grow too "big" though. I like the pretty intimate feeling of the song in its current version.
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